Thursday, April 27, 2006

Lower Merion Letting the Riff-Raff In

I woke up this morning to read my usual suburban-version of the Philadelphia Inquirer and noticed that Lower Merion Township, vaunted home of the original 'Main Line', is letting the riff-raff in. Here is an excerpt from the scandalous article:
But this being Lower Merion, where the median household income in 1999 was $86,373, twice that of the nation, the notion of a middle-income wage earner is, well, relative.

Which is why the town has stepped forward with tax incentive finance, a unique way to subsidize housing for the middle class. Under the program - which does not involve federal dollars - a family of three can make up to $76,000 and still qualify for one of the five units being offered in Ardmore.

A couple can make up to a slightly more modest $68,000 a year.

Folks earning that much elsewhere wouldn't be seen as needing financial help with homes, but they do in Lower Merion.

It disgusts me to no end to see my venerable home be defiled by hoi polloi. Ardmore used to be a place to live, where the median household income MEANT something. It has been a thorn in my side for years that we still had rowhomes in this fair township, and now they are BUILDING more!!! This so-called subsidized housing will surely bring with it crime, as these ruffians making 68,000 a year must steal to survive in the Main Line.

The fact that they already live in Lower Merion only strengthens my view! Why, just two weeks ago I noted a local tough carousing around 8pm outside my home, and proceeding to spit onto my finely manicured lawn! Pedro worked all day to make the grass just SO, and this hooligan simply showed no respect to his work and my money.

Lower Merion is going to hell in a handbasket, and these politicans are to blame. They bring in the lower-classes when the market has deemed this place to be a millionaire's haven. Frankly, I'm offended they pay so little attention to locals such as myelf. My family has lived here for generations and, while I have no personally worked, worked hard to build our five million dollar mansion. Letting these lower middle-class AT BEST in here by subsidizing their housing insults me and insults the natural aristocracy.

Know your place, people.

Respectfully yours, J.P. Woolworth-Pennyfeather IV

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