Friday, December 23, 2005

Doo Doo Brain

Git-R-Done...the most annoying phrase in comedy of recent memory. David Cross has decided to take on the phrase, mainly because the man behind it is a liar, and started it all. We all know Larry the Cable Guy by now, that Southern-fried genius of comedy, from his numerous Comedy Central specials and television show with the other pillars of Southern comedy, Bill Engvall and Jeff Foxworthy(Ron White, you're OK in my book). David Cross, on the other hand, is a liberal panty waist, a PC-fiend who toes the lines of mainstream society.

OK, maybe not. Cross is one of the funniest guys on TV, playing the role of Tobias Funke on the recently cancelled Arrested Development. Larry the Cable Guy, on the other hand, plays fart jokes and gross-out humor to the middling mainstream, and yet accuses Cross of being PC. Larry's idea of non-PC fare is calling people 'towel heads' and other nuggets that go down smooth to the wannabe-blue collar crowds he plays. He knows the shtick, and he plays it. Nebraska-born and raised, dropping in and out of his Southern twang at will, and purposely misspelling words and capitalizing everything online for his fans, he plays a section of comedy where people will take anything given to them, anything that resembles 'real'(but isn't, for 'Larry' or for them). Wannabe Southerners, I've seen them all over the place here in Pennsylvania, mostly west of Philadelphia. They call their bowling teams 'Git-R-Done' and repeat the catchphrase of 'that's funny right there'. They write ya'll in their emails. Then they go off to their 65k jobs and go home to their PA residence, where they've lived their whole lives. But not before they go buy some McDonald's from the local strip mall power center. Their kids sop it all up too, some going as far as to wear Confederate flags to school.

Meanwhile, David Cross, actually FROM the South(Georgia), is depicted by Larry and his fans as a 'PC Leftist' who, despite holding any and everything to task in his comedy, 'messes with his audience'. Messing with your audience? What a lame fucking excuse, a knee-jerk 'hey I'm still down with guys who got me here' reaction. It's like Allen Iverson who 'keeps it real' living in his 10 million dollar mansion in Gladwyne. I love Allen, he's my favorite player, but the guy can't 'keep it real' when he's making that much, and neither can you 'Larry'. Kudos for playing this up to the idiots who watch your show(all 5 of them), laugh at your act, watch your speials, buy your books, your key chains, and your women's tampons for their wives. I have to give you props, and I can't stop anyone from making money off chumps who want to buy into the act you've made for yourself. Just stop acting as though you're better than David Cross because he actually sees your for what you are, a schil and a fake who tap-dances for people who want fart jokes and jokes about their sister's moles.

Excuse me, I just pissed my pants.


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